I tell myself repeatedly that when I fall in love it would be forever but I fall in and out of love and that is definitely not forever. What makes us have that romantic love? Is it the way we are touched, spoken to, cared for, or what? What I do know is that kind of love would keep you thinking about the person all the time. It has to be a good feeling. If it is a bad feeling then you are heartbroken. A romantic love is one that feels so good.
We are attracted to others when we like something about the person, or, I think, a spiritual attraction. A spiritual attraction is one where you might not see those qualities in the person at all, but something draws you in to that person. What draws you is similarity of something or familiarity. The love grows afterwards.
Ordinarily, people like others who are good to them. When someone cares about your well-being, you appreciate the goodness of the person and you would like the person for that. You would draw more and more to that person because everyone wants to be loved and cared for. One of our basic needs is to feel loved. A basic need is something necessary to be able to function right. That is why when we are not loved we feel so isolated and yearn for that need. We might fool ourselves that we do not need anyone, which is not true really. That is just a survival instinct, and it is better to survive than not to.
Talk about being heartbroken. It means many sleepless nights twisting and turning. How in the world would someone want to break someone else’s heart? It is a terrible feeling! Just as you would feel good to be loved, not being loved is the complete opposite. Things do not feel or be right anymore.
That is why we need to plan for partners. If we plan our partners, we might be better off. Then, this goes back to long ago, when parents chose whom they wanted for marriage to their children. Should this be so? No. Individuals must do their own planning. It may be a good idea to find those things each other like and think that they will want together for all the time. They must plan for what will be happiness for each other.